many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren't caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.
1. Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people's difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they're thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.
2. Don't dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don't exist or are so insignificant they aren't worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it's silly as well as destructive.
3. Don't invent rules. A huge proportion of those "oughts" and "shoulds" that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What's the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.
4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what's there. Don't label. You'll be surprised at what you find.
5. Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn't all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you'll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you'll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.
6. Don't over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn't turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don't always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.
7. Don't take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren't talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of people in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don't especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren't personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.
8. Don't assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn't always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn't make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won't change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren't the truth.
9. Don't let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you'll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It's amazing what isn't there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you'll find those too.
10. Don't hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you'll feel and the bigger they'll look. Don't try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you've removed just about all its power to hurt you.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Socrates Triple Filter Test
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called
the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a
moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test."
"The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
'All right ," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter
of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You
may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to
tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to
me at all?"
Friends, use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near & dear friends
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called
the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a
moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test."
"The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
'All right ," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter
of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You
may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to
tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to
me at all?"
Friends, use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near & dear friends
Two Quick Techniques For Market Research By: Brian Tracy
Do Your Homework
How do you do fast, cheap market research? How do you find out whether or not the product will sell before you get into it? Before emb arking on any new business venture, considerable time must be spent in research. Your payoff will be in excess of ten to one in time and mo ney saved or earned. For every dol lar, for every hour that you put into research, you're going to save ten or twenty or thirty dol lars or hours later on. So here's what you do.
Check Every Detail
Number one is find out every detail of the product or business. Study it carefully. There is a story about Walter Chrysler, who formed Chrysler Corporation. What he did is he went out and bought several of the most popular selling vehicles in America. He then took them home to his garage and took them apart down to the very last nut and bolt. He then put them back together again. By the time he had done that with several automobiles, he had some very, very good ideas on how to create a car that was superior to any other car in America. He went out, formed Chrysler Motors and the rest is history.
Research Your Product Carefully
Number two, before you embark on a new business venture, read trade magazines, articles and stories on the business, industry or occupation. Here is a piece of advice that is worth its weight in gold. At every major library, there is what is called the periodicals index. The periodicals index lists every article that has been written on every subject in every publication in America. The librarian can guide you to the periodicals index. There's one for every year, and as publications expand, sometimes there's one for every three months. This index is now available on the Internet as well.
Take Advantage of the Information Available
You can go back and you can retrieve, usually from microfiche or from the library files, all the articles that have been written on a particular product or service in the last week, last month, last year, last five years, and you can make your self an expert on a particular subject area by using the periodicals index. I know many consultants, when their clients ask them about a particular subject, go down to the library, or onto the Internet, and they go through the periodicals index. They become well-informed on what is going on in that area, and then they sell that advice, sometimes for hundreds of dol lars an hour, to their client. So check the periodicals index. Check the Internet. Become intimately familiar with the business before you begin.
Doing good for others gives comfort to the Heart
How do you do fast, cheap market research? How do you find out whether or not the product will sell before you get into it? Before emb arking on any new business venture, considerable time must be spent in research. Your payoff will be in excess of ten to one in time and mo ney saved or earned. For every dol lar, for every hour that you put into research, you're going to save ten or twenty or thirty dol lars or hours later on. So here's what you do.
Check Every Detail
Number one is find out every detail of the product or business. Study it carefully. There is a story about Walter Chrysler, who formed Chrysler Corporation. What he did is he went out and bought several of the most popular selling vehicles in America. He then took them home to his garage and took them apart down to the very last nut and bolt. He then put them back together again. By the time he had done that with several automobiles, he had some very, very good ideas on how to create a car that was superior to any other car in America. He went out, formed Chrysler Motors and the rest is history.
Research Your Product Carefully
Number two, before you embark on a new business venture, read trade magazines, articles and stories on the business, industry or occupation. Here is a piece of advice that is worth its weight in gold. At every major library, there is what is called the periodicals index. The periodicals index lists every article that has been written on every subject in every publication in America. The librarian can guide you to the periodicals index. There's one for every year, and as publications expand, sometimes there's one for every three months. This index is now available on the Internet as well.
Take Advantage of the Information Available
You can go back and you can retrieve, usually from microfiche or from the library files, all the articles that have been written on a particular product or service in the last week, last month, last year, last five years, and you can make your self an expert on a particular subject area by using the periodicals index. I know many consultants, when their clients ask them about a particular subject, go down to the library, or onto the Internet, and they go through the periodicals index. They become well-informed on what is going on in that area, and then they sell that advice, sometimes for hundreds of dol lars an hour, to their client. So check the periodicals index. Check the Internet. Become intimately familiar with the business before you begin.
Doing good for others gives comfort to the Heart
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